Dreading Christmas

I have to be completely honest - I was dreading Christmas this year.

What I wasn't looking forward to was receiving gifts for myself, my partner or our little one that I would have to find a place in our home for.

But I was feeling really guilty about coming across as ungrateful - gifts show you that someone cares enough about you to spend their time and money on you and I didn't want it to appear I didn't appreciate this because I know how much it hurts to be on the receiving end.

As I've only just started on my journey into living a minimalist life not too many people know that we are doing a reassessment of our belongings and trying to live this way. Knowing this I understood that I couldn't expect people to not get us gifts that I would then have to find a place for. I also know that unless you are trying to follow the same minimalist principles it can be hard to understand how stressful it is trying to find homes for gifts, especially if you don't necessarily love them.

I knew I needed to be grateful for all gifts that we were to receive for Christmas, and for my birthday 5 days later. I am thankful that living so far away from most of our family members means a lot of them just send Christmas cards with cash or gift cards - these are the gifts I really love. I throw away Christmas and Birthday cards that I don't feel an attachment too (thank you Kon Mari!) so I end up with nothing to store until we decide what to spend the cash or gift card on. This post is a great read if you are feeling similar to me about how to handle gifts as a minimalist.

This post about what to buy the minimalist in your life is very useful and I wish I had found it earlier. I wish people didn't dismiss you when you said you truly don't want anything for a gift but I do understand. I also wish it wasn't rude to ask for a gift card instead of a physical gift. I would love to tell people not to get me a gift in the first place but if they insist then to ask me what I may like or need and listen to me.

I got lucky this year and basically got consumable items (lollies, chocolates etc.) and cash. I was even happier to receive these types of gifts because I didn't have to worry about getting rid of a gift if it didn't bring me joy or fit in our home. I hope that my enthusiasm towards these gifts gets through to the gift-giver but I understand if it doesn't.

We did get some things for our little one that didn't excite us too much. I know how this sounds but I hope you will understand - if not I can't change your mind and won't waste my precious time trying to do so. I want our little one's gifts to be fun, educational and if possible, multi-functional and some gifts are just novelty items. I have to choose items very carefully knowing where I can store them. I also feel some toys are over-priced or over-hyped and he may only play with them for a matter of weeks - I then have to store it away until our next bub. To me, this is a waste of money, time and causes me stress.

IMAGE SOURCE

In the future I will be asking for gift cards to my favourite stores or for e-books/movies etc. or experience gifts. 

I want to make memories from things we do as a family and not by attaching memories to material items.

xx Emily

Our Birth Story - Part 3 Recovery and Our First Week

See Part One Here
and Part Two Here

Sunday 24th September - Tuesday 26th September

The day after bubs was born is still a bit blurry for me because I was still so groggy. An obstetrician visited me and I remember her telling the nurses and myself that we needed to figure out why I was so groggy because they didn't want to have me on oxygen for too long. As I was managing my pain relatively well post surgery they weaned me off of the Endone to see if that would help. It was thought that the Endone may have been too much for my body and I was 'so relaxed' my body didn't think it needed to breathe deeply enough to get enough oxygen.

By Monday the oxygen tube was removed and it was concluded they were right about the Endone being a bit too much for my body to handle. I woke up a lot more and actually remember more from Sunday afternoon onward.

We were having a lot of latching issues with breastfeeding so a lactation consultant came to visit me. She told me I'd need to use a nipple shield to feed because my nipples were too flat for bubs to latch properly - I hadn't thought I had flat nipples but when I realised how much needed to be in bubs mouth for a proper feed and latch I agreed with them 100%. I ended up seeing another lactation consultant before we were discharged who changed the size of nipple shield I was given the previous day to allow for more nipple to be drawn in. On discharge day my nipples were bleeding so bad I almost had to beg for 20ml of formula to feed baby before we could get home.

On Monday the Obstetrician advised me that although I only lost about 700ml of blood, an amount they were not concerned about, my iron and transferrin levels had dropped. I opted to receive an iron infusion because I know how long it takes my body to absorb iron from tablets and I wanted to give myself a little bit of a head start.

The day we were discharged became extremely frustrating. We were told discharge time is around 9.30am - 10.30am yet we didn't leave the hospital until 3.30pm. We were getting frustrated mainly because we felt like we were sitting around waiting for enough staff just to discharge us and if they were so busy why wouldn't they want my bed ASAP?! As soon as we got home I made bubs a formula bottle to give my nipples a rest and he gobbled it all up.

Stats

Labour from breaking of waters - 39 hours

Active labour (from time of 4 contractions within 10 mins) - 9.5 hours

Bubs details

Sebastian L C

49cm long

3786g | 8lb 5oz

blue eyes, blonde hair

10 fingers & 10 toes & perfect in every way!

Once we were home I pushed myself just a little too much and had to remind myself that a cesarean section is major abdominal surgery and I really needed to rest and relax and not go food shopping the day we got home from hospital. 

We had a home visit from our local Maternal Child Health Nurse the day after we got home and the two days after that was the nurses from the hospital to remove my stitch and check over Seb. 

In between the two nurse visits we had to make a trip to the emergency department at the Royal Womens Hospital as I had developed a fever around 41C degrees and a few days later I was advised there was an infection in my bladder and from my cervical swab so I was on antibiotics again (also on them in hospital from c-section). 

I had a third lactation consultant appointment as I still felt we were having issues with feeding but while this lovely lady was confident I was making enough milk I felt like I spent every spare minute with either Seb or a pump on my chest while in tears from pain and frustration. We decided to change to formula and from 2 weeks Seb has been fully formula fed. I was warned to express for several days, several times a day to avoid mastitis but after 2 days of not having breast fed (and not expressing because I completely forgot about it) I wasn't even leaking milk anymore. I still feel upset about this decision but I felt it was the only way we could move forward and I'm happy that I really did give it my best shot.

xx Emily

Our Birth Story - Part 2 Birth

See Part One Here

Saturday 23rd September - 39+2 weeks pregnant

7.30 - 8.00pm
Jono gets his scrubs on, packs up our stuff to be moved into our room and I get wheeled into the prep area before going into theatre for the caesarean section. I get a bit more info about what to expect but I can't really remember what they were telling me. Once I'm in the room the anaesthetist (the same one from earlier that morning, poor guy working a double shift) pumps up my epidural. When he tested how well it had taken I could still feel down to my waist so I believe he pumped in a bit more drugs.
They started painting the disinfectant over my stomach and my partner was brought in just as they starting cutting me open - they were in such a hurry to start they didn't wait for him before picking up the scalpel!
Within a few minutes I was told I'd feel some pressure and it might feel a bit odd as bubs was so far engaged they had to dig him out. Its definitely an odd feeling when they are moving things around in there, for some reason I though the Doctor had her hands under my rib cage.

8.26pm
We hear the Doctor say "Dad, come have a look at this type" as she held him up in the air. Jono came to me and said "its a boy" and I remember saying "told you so!" I then heard the Doctor say "oh, he is weeing" and I remember thinking 'is that hygienic, I'm cut open right now!'.
They start finishing up with me and Jono goes over to bubs on the table on the side of the room. The anaesthetist told me to look over and I'd see them cleaning him up and I remember the Paediatrician saying bubs was just having a little trouble but not to worry.
It was now when the Doctor discovered my bladder had become swollen and was blocking bubs way out causing his head to swell and block my bladder - they think there was no way he was coming out with my bladder swelling and in the way so I'm thankful they got me into surgery when they did.
When he was brought over to me several minutes later the first thing he did was drop his bottom lip and start crying. I was unable to hold him (other than putting my hand up as in the photo below) as I was shivering so much I had little control over my arms and hands. I remember I kept tapping the Doctor's bottom and I had to hang my hand off the table to stop.

They whisked bubs and Jono off to special care nursery to get some skin on skin time while I was closed up and taken to recovery. I believe I had so much medication in my system and that's why I passed out before I even left theatre - although I think I remember moving onto another bed but it's very patchy for me.
I do remember being told I'd only be in recovery for 20 minutes before being taken to the Maternity ward but I was there for over an hour. I also remember the nurses kept asking me why my baby was in special care and I think I told them he had some oxygen issues but I didn't know he was in special care!

10.00pm 
I remember every time I opened my eyes between passing out I would look at the clock that was right across from me so I know this is roughly when I left recovery for the maternity ward. I heard the nurse say she couldn't take me to maternity ward because I was still too sedated but they couldn't keep me in recovery so off I went. I don't remember the trip there but I do remember the ward clerk asking me if I could move onto the bed myself and I just glared at him - thankfully the midwife mentioned the caesarean I had just had.
When I came to in my room on the maternity ward the nurse was fitting me with an oxygen tube and Jono was just coming in followed by bubs. I learned that they weren't in special care nursery for a medical reason but as they don't have nursery's in hospitals anymore that's where they send partners with babies after caesarean's. I then learned from my partner that our little bub needed oxygen at first and it was about 3 minutes before he took a proper breath. He also had fluid in his lungs and needed it cleared but he coughed it up just as they were putting the tube down his throat.
We had our first feed, which was a lot harder than I thought it would be, especially as I was still so groggy and kept falling asleep. I called my sister and told her the news, told her to tell no one to call me because I was not answering as I was so groggy. Jono left just before midnight and not long after the nurse put the rails up on my bed and I slept with bub, waking when he did to attempt feeding.

Part 3 to follow - recovery and our first week

xx Emily

Our Birth Story - Part 1 Labour

Warning - this is not a short story so get comfy if you plan on sticking around.

Friday 22nd September - 39+1 weeks pregnant

5.30am
Lying in bed after just having been to the bathroom for maybe the fourth or fifth time overnight (I was 39 weeks pregnant!) I had this funny feeling like I almost needed to wee again but it wasn't in my bladder. I got up to attempt to go to the bathroom again, even though I had literally been only 10 minutes before and as soon as I stood upright I could feel myself leaking slightly. Luckily the toilet is right next to our bedroom because as soon as I stepped on those tiles there was a gush of pinkish fluid and I knew instantly it was my waters/amniotic fluid. I yelled out to my partner who, surprisingly, woke up very quickly. I told him my waters had just broken and started laughing.

Whilst still sitting on the toilet, naively waiting for my waters to 'finish leaking' I called my sister Sam to tell her whilst wishing my brother-in-law a happy birthday (and half apologising for my child possibly taking his birthday).
My partner and I then had to figure out what to do about a customer's car he had to bring home overnight from work that needed to get back to his workplace. I called the midwives at the hospital and they advised me to present to hospital at some point this morning but as I had experienced no contractions as yet it was not urgent.

My partner drove the car to his work, took care of a few things and rode his bicycle home whilst I did the dishes (!) and straightened my hair (!) and shaved my legs (!). Yes, I seriously did these things because 1) I had time to kill and didn't want to get anxious and 2) I stupidly thought I'd be able to keep myself looking good through labour (straight hair) for any photos that may have been taken. (Don't waste your time with this step unless it keeps you from getting anxious, like me).

9.30am
We finally made it to hospital to be checked over by the midwife. She needed to make sure it was definitely my waters that had broken (I imagine bladder leakage would fool so many women at full term!) and when I pulled out my whopper stopper (sanitary napkin - thanks Carl Barron for the much better name) she was VERY sure it was my waters. I was hooked up to the CGT machine to monitor baby's heart rate and my uterus for contractions. By this stage I had had about 4-5 very mild contractions - they were noticeable but not painful.

After a bit of monitoring we were given instructions to head home, try to relax and to present at 8.30am the next day for an induction if I didn't need to present earlier. On the drive home, during which we picked up some McDonalds hotcakes, I leaked through my maternity whopper stopper, underwear, leggings and 2 towels I was sitting on. I even managed to leak half way up my shirt. The midwife suggested I just lay on several towels for the day so I don't use too many whopper stoppers (I had already gone through 10 in four hours). So I laid in bed watching Futurama, dozing off here and there and recording any contractions I had throughout the day.

I had started experiencing stronger contractions from around lunch time but they fizzled out around 4pm so we went for a walk around the block and then headed to the pharmacy to buy more whopper stoppers and a thermometer. I can't remember what we had for dinner but when I went to bed about 10pm I didn't even set my alarm to get up in time to head to hospital.

11.00pm
This was the first really painful contraction and it woke me up. I had a couple contractions and started recording them (there's an app for that!) from 11.35pm. As I expected the contractions were irregular but gradually getting stronger and stronger. A note on contractions - everything I read and everyone I had spoken to had advised that contractions felt like bad period pain. I know what bad period pain feels like as I am often bed ridden at that time of them month but I didn't think then or now that they felt like period pain at all. To me it felt my uterus was getting a 'chinese burn' - like when you were a little kid and another kid would twist your arm in two different directions - and turning rock hard like concrete at the same time.

Sometimes there would be a break of 15-20 minutes between a contractions and some were as close as 3 minutes apart - most were between 5 and 9 minutes apart. Some of the contractions would last 30 seconds and some would last a minute and a half - I was getting pretty frustrated. I had several hot showers to try to cope with the pain but our hot water ran out about 2.30am. I tried to remember what I had read in Birth Skills (Juju Sundin) about active labour so I tried walking around the house and bouncing on the exercise ball. I also tried waking my partner thinking he could help distract me but he kept falling back asleep so that didn't really work for me.

Saturday 23rd September - 39+2 weeks pregnant
4.00am

I woke up my partner at this time and said I couldn't cope anymore with the pain, there wasn't enough hot water and my contractions were still no where near regular in any sense. Once we both got ready we headed to the hospital. I was extremely emotional - I was bawling my eyes out and definitely not in a pretty state.

5.00am
When we arrived at the hospital we were taken straight up to birth suite as I was due to be induced that morning anyway. I got changed and got into bed ready to be checked and have the Oxytocin given to induce labour. I was checked about 6.30am and was told I was 4cm dilated (thank goodness!) and 100% effaced - this was good news for us. I put my iPod playlist on - purposefully titled "Calm Yo Tits" and made up only of John Mayer and Ed Sheeran songs to try and keep me as relaxed as I could possibly be for what I was expecting to come. The Obstetrician also broke my fore-waters (very uncomfortable) and gave the go ahead to start the induction.

7.30am
I asked for an epidural as soon as I was able to have one - I knew I was only 4cm dilated and had read that it could slow dilation or labour but due to my contractions still being so irregular I felt like I was seriously struggling with coping because I never knew when to expect the next one or how long it would last.

The anaesthesiologist arrived around 7.30am to give me the epidural and OUCH! He had two attempts at just getting the local anaesthetic into my back and that hurt the most as I was sitting on a bed that wasn't flat and he was worried the epidural was going to be one sided if he didn't try again. I had just started to use the gas before he came in which I did find to be helpful. Looking back now I feel like I could have tried the gas a bit longer but I know at the time I couldn't possibly see how I could cope with the irregular contractions on just gas. Once the epidural took effect I could still feel the pressure of contractions and, oddly as I was told, could feel slight pain and stinging in the left side of my vagina.

The Oxytocin was started just after the epidural, catheter inserted and sometime later a peanut ball (a funny shaped exercise ball) was put between my legs when the midwives moved me onto my side. My partner and I slept here and there, ate a bit here and there and tried to occupy ourselves as much as we could. The epidural would make me shiver so much that I would wake up to my teeth chattering or body shaking.

11.00am
The first time I had 4 contractions within 10 minutes so I officially started 'active labour!' I was then told at 3pm I would get my next internal review at 3pm (every four hours) to check progress.

As the CGT doppler wasn't picking up all my contractions the midwives were constantly having to monitor my uterus manually with their hands on me. I got used to this pretty quickly and would easily doze off while they were checking me.

Puffy faced and sleepy!

3.00pm
It was handover for the midwives and I had my internal review. The midwives told me I had dilated a further 1cm to 5cm but I was still having irregular contractions. Even the midwives were noticing how irregular my contractions still were as I had been having Oxytocin for several hours already. During handover they were discussing how I would have contractions on top of each other - I'd have 3-5 contractions with only 'slight softening of the uterus' in between then there might be a break of several minutes and then I might have a singular, 60 second contraction. While I was still having mostly 4 contractions within a 10 minute period (considered active labour at my hospital) there was no predictability to them.

We were set for another internal review at 7.00pm. My sister happened to be in Melbourne for the day so she popped in quickly to see how I was going. She was impressed with birth suite at the hospital compared to where she had given birth and I kept telling her to look at the machine as that would tell me when I was having a contraction. She had all 4 of her babies without epidural and only used some gas so she was pretty interested in how well the epidural was working for me.

4.00pm - 7.00pm
This window of time is a bit more of a blur - I believe I got a bit more sleep in, I remember talking to the midwives quite a bit during this period and my partner ordered some dinner delivered to the hospital. I do remember that about 6pm the Oxytocin was stopped and restarted about 6.30pm with the hope of seeing if my contractions would 'restart' and become a bit more regular.

7.00pm
Time for my next internal review. I was so dearly hoping I would have progressed to at least 7/8cm by this stage as I had been at hospital for 14 hours already, in active labour for 8 hours and it had been 38 hours since my waters had broken at home. I was 6cm. SIX CENTIMETRES. In 10 hours of induced labour, irregular contractions and intense, epidural caused shivering I had managed to dilate only 2 more centimetres. The midwives were also discussing (once again) the lack of fluid in my catheter bag even though I had was on fluids and drinking plenty. They were a bit worried but thought we'd check again at 11.00pm if nothing had happened in the meantime but were going to discuss with the Obstetrician anyway.

Just before the Obstetrician walked in around 7.15pm I suddenly felt like my abdomen was on fire. I felt like I was burning from the inside out and then the nausea hit me. I told the midwives who arranged to get me medication for the nausea and took me temperature - I had very quickly developed a fever of 39C degrees.

The Obstetrician confirmed I was only 6cm dilated but was worried about my sudden fever and slow progression given I had been on Oxytocin for 10 hours and was still having irregular contractions - the restarting of Oxytocin didn't have the desired effect. The Obstetrician and midwife also believed bubs head was swollen and they were also concerned with how little there seemed to be emptying from my bladder. The Obstetrician left the room and I started throwing up and feeling much worse. The epidural was also wearing off and I could feel my contractions again and realised how bad they were and what contractions on top of each other felt like - not great!

The Obstetrician came back only a few minutes later and advised me she felt I needed an emergency caesarean given the slow progression of labour, bubs head feeling swollen, potential bladder issues and sudden fever. There were two women in front of me at that time but we started preparing anyway. A few minutes had passed and the Obstetrician came back in and told me we were going in now as she had demanded I be seen to first given my condition. I can't explain why but I wasn't scared or worried at all, I think I just wanted to meet our little bub already and over feeling so suddenly horrendous that I was a bit relieved.

Part 2 to follow - the birth and recovery!

xx Emily

He's Here!

If I could only use one word to describe the last two weeks it would be overwhelming.

I have been a mum now for 18 days (as I write this) and I feel like I can't remember that much of it other than how quickly it's gone and how overwhelmed I have felt in that time.

The first week was the absolute hardest week I feel like I've had in an extremely long time. After a very eventful birth (I'll be writing up my birth story soon - it's going to take me some time to get that out in coherent sentences) I felt like there was so much I had to remember that the most important part about my new life was being forgotten about - I now have a brand new little baby to care for, to love and to enjoy.

Firstly - we had our baby boy Sebastian on September 23rd at 8.26pm. He was 3.786kg (8lb 5oz) and 49cm long. We didn't know what we were having, although I was pretty certain, and I specifically asked the Obstetrician to let my partner be the first one to find out the gender and to then let me know. I remember saying "told you so!" to him as soon as he said 'its a boy!'.
As I needed an emergency C-section they had pumped me so full of drugs and pain relief that I was extremely groggy for the first 36 hours after his birth. I remember coming-to every now and then but remember little else - it was a very patchy start to my little boy's life.

The overwhelming part was all the stuff I was supposed to remember to do as a new mum. I was trying to figure out breast feeding and, after meeting with 2 lactation consultants, realised I would need to use nipple shields - which I then had to learn how to use properly.
I was also having to remember what time Seb fed and for how long and which breast I put him on and when I changed his nappy last and if it was wet and/or dirty.

I also had to remember to do my pelvic floor exercises (still forgetting to do these) and how to care for my incision and myself post surgery and how long until I could drive again.
I had to remember when to change myself and to eat and how long Seb had slept for and if I was going to supplement with formula how much formula to make and how to sterilise bottles and make formula (I know this stuff already anyway!).

I also had to remember which symptoms to look out for in case of infection and when to see my GP or go back to the emergency department and how much weight Seb had lost when we were discharged home and how to clean his umbilical cord/belly button.

As you can see my mind was all over the place. I had significant trouble breastfeeding, even with the nipple shields and this was put down to having breast implants that interfered with my body knowing how much milk to produce. The lactation consultants advised me that as I was cut around the areola for my surgery that this can interfere with the nerves that send messages to and from my brain which may be why I didn't seem to 'fill' or have a 'let-down'. It was also incredibly painful, even when he latched on correctly - so much so I'd be in tears just feeding him and found myself dreading feeding time.

Every time someone asked me how feeding was going I burst into tears. I felt like I'd been trying so hard but was getting no where and felt immense guilt that I couldn't provide for my baby because I made a silly decision at 22 to get implants!

But I will soldier on and check in again soon and try to enjoy my little boy every minute I can because I know that we will never get these moments ever again.

xx Emily

Minimalist Disagreements

 As I've mentioned previously, there are quite a few 'rules' or 'instructions' regarding minimalism and simple living that I really disagree with, for me personally but also for the minimalist lifestyle in general. I wanted to discuss a few of them here just to give you an idea.

Source

Take this image as an example (there are some good points on this list too, but I'll bring up the ones I think aren't that great).

1. Make a list of things you don't need.
This is something KonMari touches on and something I discovered was true for myself. When you sort by category instead of by room you must gather everything within that category together from every nook and cranny of your home. I found things I didn't even know I had or hadn't seen or used in months (even years). By making a list of things you don't need you are bound to forget something. Say you've written down "payslips" on this list - do you then spend hours or days searching your entire house for all your payslips? This would get quite frustrating. Personally, I'd get hung up and stressed wondering where I've put them all and if I've gotten rid of all of them. This is where the KonMari method would work extremely well -the entire category is sitting in front of you and you can decide then and there what you don't need.

5. Simplify mealtime.
Yes, this is a good idea by all means but I pretty much disagree with it because I love cooking and I feel that 'simple meals' can too often sound like 'bland, same old meat + veg' and you'd get bored pretty quickly. I think the challenge here is to find recipes that you love and you deem are worthy to be in your regular rotation of meals - they might not necessarily be 'simple' - but if you love them enough they will fit your lifestyle because you won't mind the time and effort required to make them.

6. Downsize.
Good for some things, not for other things because size does matter! Downsize clutter, downsize your stress and anxiety and downsize your list of obligations that you don't give a f**k about. But, downsizing your car or home may not make your life more simple. Downsizing your home can mean you don't need as much stuff to 'fill it' but that's not the goal we are trying to achieve and I don't think this is good motivation for wanting to de-clutter or live more simply. To me, I'd prefer downsizing to mean de-cluttering - downsize unnecessary clutter. I always thought we needed a bigger home and more storage but after de-cluttering just a few categories after discovering the KonMari method I realised our home had become a storage shed and with less stuff it didn't get as messy and I found more room.

9. Embrace the 'one in, one out' rule. 
This one is a bit here and there - I've found when I've gone shopping and found something I like I do think about things like "Where will I store this, do I have room to store it, do I want to store it, can I get rid of something else I don't want/love/need as much as this?" So not quite as simple as buying a new sheet set and getting rid of another sheet set because I may not want or need to get rid of one. Its a good starting point to get you thinking about what you already have and what is the reason behind wanting to buy/bring home this item.

xx Emily

Discovering Minimalism

What is Minimalism?
I came across this wonderful website that I think describes Minimalism perfectly:

Remove what isn’t adding value to your life, to make room for stuff that is.

LESS clutter, time commitments, negative thought patterns and toxic relationships and MORE time, space and energy for things that really matter to you.

I started my journey after reading "The Life Changing Magic of Tidying" by Marie Kondo. While going through my de-clutter process and looking for inspiration I discovered Minimalism and really liked the principles of it. I wanted to stress less and actually enjoy my life. I didn't want to be concerned about things that ultimately didn't matter to me personally.

As the above website notes, starting with sorting your 'stuff' is a good jumping point. Our stuff represents us and our lives and our attitudes. Our stuff is our memories, our goals and aspirations and our habits and values. Our stuff can show our personalities better than we can explain sometimes. As I have mentioned in a previous post, I have for a very long time felt like my mind is just a disorganised mess of thoughts, goals, self-doubt, little confidence and insecurity. 

This post alone speaks to me on so many levels. 

Minimalism isn't a numbers game - doesn't matter if you have 100 things or 1000 things - its your life.

It can mean different things to different people - this blog is my own interpretation and minimalist process - yours might be completely different to mine and that's ok - its whatever works for you and your goals.

Its not just about reducing or having less - its about removing bad stuff so you can add the good stuff in. You will add stuff in but don't fret that this is going backwards or not what minimalism is about - if you have figured out what good stuff is worth adding and what bad stuff is worth removing you can live simply and much more happily.

Source

xx Emily

Clothes - A Warning

Well this isn't really a warning but more just me pointing out where a lot of "Minimalism" blogs, articles and Pinterest ideas say one thing and how my interpretation of Minimalism and simple living contradict these.

Disagree:

If you haven't worn it in the last 6/12 months get rid of it - this isn't what KonMari would tell you either. Just because you haven't worn it in several months doesn't mean it automatically gets thrown away or donated - although this is a good starting point as you can ask yourself why you haven't worn it in this time period. Would you throw out your wedding dress after 6 months? Personally I don't think I would if I had one.

Throw out half your stuff - I don't think this should apply to anything in your house as it is such a general 'rule'. What if you just can't get rid of 'half your stuff' for whatever reason - maybe you already are living with minimal things - does this 'rule' make you fret about what else you could possible get rid of?

If it's 'last season' get rid of it - well no. If you love it, does it really matter if it's 'last season'? I really don't care about what is and isn't in fashion or having a 'perfect capsule wardrobe'. I want clothes I like, I feel comfortable in and that make me feel like I look good - whether or not they are 'in fashion'. 

Dress with less - again, well no. What if you like layers and patterns and colours?! Dress whichever way you feel like because this is what is going to make you happy and comfortable. As you can probably tell, I don't like being told how to dress unless its for a wedding  or fancy dress party!

Minimalist Wardrobe Staples - again, NO! I will decide what my wardrobe staples are, not anyone else. I don't need to have a specific style of watch, cardigan, jeans, shoes, handbag etc. to be a 'minimalist'. Minimalism is not a fashion trend or style - it is a way of living and I will chose how I am going to live simply myself thank you!

Agree:

Does it have a hole/missing buttons - I used to keep all the clothes that lost their buttons, as well as the buttons, in my wardrobe waiting to be repaired. After reading KonMari's advice, I realised if I didn't fix the piece of clothing straight away it mustn't have meant too much to me so why am I still holding on to it?

Does it fit you - if it doesn't fit you right now and you aren't currently pregnant (like me) why are you holding on to it? If its a motivational piece of clothing that is actually motivating you to lose/gain weight/get fit etc. then by all means hold on to it (in my opinion) but other wise isn't it just wasting space in your wardrobe? It could also be causing you some distress if it only brings bad memories about skinnier/fitter/larger times in your life (and that is the opposite of Sparking Joy!)

If I saw it in the store right now, would I buy it I - personally I have found this a very useful mantra when I was clearing out my clothes for things I was a bit 'umm and ahh' about. I don't usually follow whats currently in fashion as I prefer to buy basic and comfortable items so asking myself if I would buy this top or skirt right now when it happened to be 'in fashion' a few years ago has helped me get rid of quite a few items that I just haven't worn recently.


xx Emily