Well I've been too busy to keep this blog updated but a lot has changed this year.
This is just a quick post to say I'm evolving this blog and going in a broader direction from here on.
This will be to coincide with my Instagram Account @raisingbash where I post about living frugally, living on a single income, being a soon to be mum of two-under-two and living minimally.
I hope you enjoy what you find from here on.
xx Emily
October 28, 2018
January 16, 2018
I'm Too Busy
I had a very sudden realisation the other night - I'm too busy right now.
I'm trying to do too much with my time and I'm getting frustrated.
Let me explain a little more specifically. I realised that trying to make and sell handmade things like crochet blankets and beanies was taking up far too much of my time for little reward. I have been crocheting and knitting for a very long time and get so many compliments on the things I make. I've sold things here and there through my Etsy store and in person.
So many people tell me "you should sell your stuff" and I seriously try to but very few people are actually interested in buying it. I believe the price of handmade items is more than what people are expecting and don't realise this when I make things.
The following process takes place when I make an item:
- find a pattern (not every time but a lot of the time)
- sometimes I have to purchase a pattern - can be anwhere from $3 to $10
- buy materials for item by searching craft shops or ordering online
- make item - can take several hours/days/weeks even
- finish off item by sewing in ends/attaching pieces etc.
- photographing item in good lighting (might have to wait for good weather/light conditions)
- edit photographs
- list item online, create description etc.
- promote item on social media (continuously!)
- promote sales or coupon codes
- promote name on social media to attract potential followers and potential buyers
This process happens for every single item I make. It takes up a lot of time and I don't feel the interest I get in person follows through with purchases. I don't want to be bitter about this because I don't make things to make much money - I have compared my prices to others and mine are priced quite affordably. I don't charge an hourly rate to make or photograph each item, edit these photo's and list the item online. That would be far to expensive and I don't know anyone who'd pay $200 for a beanie!
So I decided I no longer want to make things to try and sell. I'm only going to make things for myself, for my family, for gifts and maybe the odd custom make for friends.
I already feel good about this decision. I will be saving money because I won't be buying materials that I hope to turn into profit eventually. I won't have to find places to store finished items waiting to be sold and my wardrobe will be unique and one-of-a-kind because no one else will have the same item. And I won't feel bitter or frustrated about not selling an item.
I'm one step closer to this years goal of being Less Busy!
Photos are all things I have made over the last couple of years.
You can still follow my crafting instagram account @chunkystitches and my Etsy store is ChunkyStitchesAU - I may still have things for sale when you are reading this.
xx Emily
I'm trying to do too much with my time and I'm getting frustrated.
Let me explain a little more specifically. I realised that trying to make and sell handmade things like crochet blankets and beanies was taking up far too much of my time for little reward. I have been crocheting and knitting for a very long time and get so many compliments on the things I make. I've sold things here and there through my Etsy store and in person.
So many people tell me "you should sell your stuff" and I seriously try to but very few people are actually interested in buying it. I believe the price of handmade items is more than what people are expecting and don't realise this when I make things.
The following process takes place when I make an item:
- find a pattern (not every time but a lot of the time)
- sometimes I have to purchase a pattern - can be anwhere from $3 to $10
- buy materials for item by searching craft shops or ordering online
- make item - can take several hours/days/weeks even
- finish off item by sewing in ends/attaching pieces etc.
- photographing item in good lighting (might have to wait for good weather/light conditions)
- edit photographs
- list item online, create description etc.
- promote item on social media (continuously!)
- promote sales or coupon codes
- promote name on social media to attract potential followers and potential buyers
So I decided I no longer want to make things to try and sell. I'm only going to make things for myself, for my family, for gifts and maybe the odd custom make for friends.
I already feel good about this decision. I will be saving money because I won't be buying materials that I hope to turn into profit eventually. I won't have to find places to store finished items waiting to be sold and my wardrobe will be unique and one-of-a-kind because no one else will have the same item. And I won't feel bitter or frustrated about not selling an item.
I'm one step closer to this years goal of being Less Busy!
Photos are all things I have made over the last couple of years.
You can still follow my crafting instagram account @chunkystitches and my Etsy store is ChunkyStitchesAU - I may still have things for sale when you are reading this.
xx Emily
January 11, 2018
Goals for the Next Year
My goals for the next year are not resolutions. Resolutions get broken and are often so much of a change of lifestyle they are unattainable. For someone like me who doesn't exercise apart from a walk around the river once and a while, a resolution like "I'm going to exercise everyday by doing a 20 minute tabata workout + walk around the river" wouldn't last very long. It's just too much of a lifestyle change too quickly.
Instead I'm making goals for the next year. These can then be broken down into mini goals or steps that push me further toward achieving the big ones. I think this way will be much easier to continue throughout the year.
Goals also change as your circumstances change. I will be returning to work this year from maternity leave so I think some of my goals will alter when my lifestyle changes again.
1. More De-cluttering.
I plan on going 'full on minimal'. But not like completely. Does that make sense? Well my version of 'full on minimal' is to get rid of things we have or held on to because we 'thought' we use them. I'm talking mugs, plates, containers, tools etc. We have like 25 mugs for two adults. Sometimes the in-laws come over and have a hot cuppa but we still don't need 25 mugs.
2. Practice Single Tasking.
You may have seen my post on single tasking here and I plan on really giving it a red hot go this year. A big one for us is playing on our phones while watching TV or a movie so I'll be making a new rule - no phones out while we are watching TV.
When I return to work I plan to utilise single tasking wherever possible as well. I believe in putting out the best quality work possible and I can do a better job if I am able to single task.
3. Discuss our minimalism journey with friends and family.
We can't expect people to know we are de-cluttering to reduce our stuff because most people assume we are de-cluttering because we live in a small unit. I was offered novelty drinking glasses a few days ago and refused them, accidentally adding we don't have room for them. It was then said once we moved into another house we can have them. What I should have said was "we have no room for them because we choose not to have room for them" or plain and simple "No, we don't want them, ever!". We must learn how to stand up for ourselves when people try to force their unwanted/unused items on us.
I have no desire to turn my friends and family into minimalists but if they ask I will definitely boast about all the positives I have personally experienced.
4. Enjoy more experiences with my family (see infographic left)
I want my child (and hopefully future children) to grow up remembering their parents played with them and had time for them. I want them to know we always wanted to spend time with them going on adventures while still making sure the essential things were taken care of. What I remember growing up was my mum dropping us off at a family members house to be babysat or telling us off for making a mess because she just cleaned the room/house etc. We weren't allowed to play or use our stuff because it meant it didn't stay packed away. I couldn't eat my sandwich until I had washed all the dishes and utensils I had used to make it - I prefer to eat my meal and then clean up.
5. Get outside more often.
I am already enjoying getting out with bubs in his pram and walking around the river down the road. When I was living back home in Perth every weekend was spent at the weekend for about 7 months of the year. The beaches here in Melbourne don't live up to the coast in Perth but I'd still like to get out and explore more. We are already planning our first trip to the snow (my first trip too) and road trips to other destinations in Victoria to explore. I'd love to do the Great Ocean Road again but even just having picnics at the park as bubs gets older would be enjoyable and refreshing.
6. Be Less Busy
By being less busy I am hoping to use my time to play with my child and give my partner attention. Bubs deserves a family who is present and educational and fun - as do we! I'm sick of always having a million things on my mind that I think need to get done whilst trying to give attention to my bub. Nothing is as important at that moment than he is. If we have less things 'to-do' then we have more time to have fun and enjoy ourselves.
xx Emily
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| Source |
I plan on going 'full on minimal'. But not like completely. Does that make sense? Well my version of 'full on minimal' is to get rid of things we have or held on to because we 'thought' we use them. I'm talking mugs, plates, containers, tools etc. We have like 25 mugs for two adults. Sometimes the in-laws come over and have a hot cuppa but we still don't need 25 mugs.
2. Practice Single Tasking.
You may have seen my post on single tasking here and I plan on really giving it a red hot go this year. A big one for us is playing on our phones while watching TV or a movie so I'll be making a new rule - no phones out while we are watching TV.
When I return to work I plan to utilise single tasking wherever possible as well. I believe in putting out the best quality work possible and I can do a better job if I am able to single task.
3. Discuss our minimalism journey with friends and family.
We can't expect people to know we are de-cluttering to reduce our stuff because most people assume we are de-cluttering because we live in a small unit. I was offered novelty drinking glasses a few days ago and refused them, accidentally adding we don't have room for them. It was then said once we moved into another house we can have them. What I should have said was "we have no room for them because we choose not to have room for them" or plain and simple "No, we don't want them, ever!". We must learn how to stand up for ourselves when people try to force their unwanted/unused items on us.
I have no desire to turn my friends and family into minimalists but if they ask I will definitely boast about all the positives I have personally experienced.
4. Enjoy more experiences with my family (see infographic left)
I want my child (and hopefully future children) to grow up remembering their parents played with them and had time for them. I want them to know we always wanted to spend time with them going on adventures while still making sure the essential things were taken care of. What I remember growing up was my mum dropping us off at a family members house to be babysat or telling us off for making a mess because she just cleaned the room/house etc. We weren't allowed to play or use our stuff because it meant it didn't stay packed away. I couldn't eat my sandwich until I had washed all the dishes and utensils I had used to make it - I prefer to eat my meal and then clean up.
5. Get outside more often.
I am already enjoying getting out with bubs in his pram and walking around the river down the road. When I was living back home in Perth every weekend was spent at the weekend for about 7 months of the year. The beaches here in Melbourne don't live up to the coast in Perth but I'd still like to get out and explore more. We are already planning our first trip to the snow (my first trip too) and road trips to other destinations in Victoria to explore. I'd love to do the Great Ocean Road again but even just having picnics at the park as bubs gets older would be enjoyable and refreshing.
6. Be Less Busy
By being less busy I am hoping to use my time to play with my child and give my partner attention. Bubs deserves a family who is present and educational and fun - as do we! I'm sick of always having a million things on my mind that I think need to get done whilst trying to give attention to my bub. Nothing is as important at that moment than he is. If we have less things 'to-do' then we have more time to have fun and enjoy ourselves.
xx Emily
January 6, 2018
Single Tasking
I have been a fantastic multi-tasker for as long as I can remember.
I'm pretty sure every job I've ever applied for had 'multi-tasking' in their desired attributes and I prided myself on how well I could multi-task, prioritise and how quickly I could finish off tasks.
But, I now feel multi-tasking is more 'distracted working'.
This past year I've realised than instead of multi-tasking by doing several jobs at once I was actually being distracted by and creating additional things to do. I had way too many things going on at one time and I began wondering why I couldn't just finish something before moving onto another.
Single tasking can be quite difficult because you have to completely focus on one thing at a time and I feel it requires more skill than multi-tasking does. I still think you need to be able to prioritise your workload or tasks/duties which will often mean leaving what you are doing when something more urgent pops up but this should only apply in some workplaces depending on your role.
I feel that by focusing on just one task at a time allows you to have more focus and the finished product will be of better quality. I find if I truly focus on just what I'm doing I'm not thinking about all these other "to-do's" and allowing my mind to wander, it stays on task and I can finish things quicker than expected.
I try to keep my phone away from me also to avoid the temptation to 'take a quick phone break' to check social media or what not - this is one of the biggest distractions for a lot of people, myself included - it's even on the list below.
While writing this post I can look at all my open tabs and there are currently five, BUT I haven't allowed myself to click through them in between writing this because I want to finish this while the words are in my mind. I think there is even a notification flashing on my phone as I may have heard a notification tone but it isn't near me so I'll check it once I'm done here. If it was urgent, they would call!
I read a post on Pinterest recently (that put into much better words than I could hope to write myself) how to avoid the urge of multi-tasking and you can read it here.
We are too busy and this is something I want to work on in the future, hence my journey into living a minimalist, simpler life. If I wasn't so busy I wouldn't need to multi-task so I'm trying to single task as a way to determine what is actually important to me.
xx Emily
I'm pretty sure every job I've ever applied for had 'multi-tasking' in their desired attributes and I prided myself on how well I could multi-task, prioritise and how quickly I could finish off tasks.
But, I now feel multi-tasking is more 'distracted working'.
This past year I've realised than instead of multi-tasking by doing several jobs at once I was actually being distracted by and creating additional things to do. I had way too many things going on at one time and I began wondering why I couldn't just finish something before moving onto another.
Single tasking can be quite difficult because you have to completely focus on one thing at a time and I feel it requires more skill than multi-tasking does. I still think you need to be able to prioritise your workload or tasks/duties which will often mean leaving what you are doing when something more urgent pops up but this should only apply in some workplaces depending on your role.
I feel that by focusing on just one task at a time allows you to have more focus and the finished product will be of better quality. I find if I truly focus on just what I'm doing I'm not thinking about all these other "to-do's" and allowing my mind to wander, it stays on task and I can finish things quicker than expected.
I try to keep my phone away from me also to avoid the temptation to 'take a quick phone break' to check social media or what not - this is one of the biggest distractions for a lot of people, myself included - it's even on the list below.
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| Image Source |
While writing this post I can look at all my open tabs and there are currently five, BUT I haven't allowed myself to click through them in between writing this because I want to finish this while the words are in my mind. I think there is even a notification flashing on my phone as I may have heard a notification tone but it isn't near me so I'll check it once I'm done here. If it was urgent, they would call!
I read a post on Pinterest recently (that put into much better words than I could hope to write myself) how to avoid the urge of multi-tasking and you can read it here.
We are too busy and this is something I want to work on in the future, hence my journey into living a minimalist, simpler life. If I wasn't so busy I wouldn't need to multi-task so I'm trying to single task as a way to determine what is actually important to me.
xx Emily
December 30, 2017
Dreading Christmas
I have to be completely honest - I was dreading Christmas this year.
What I wasn't looking forward to was receiving gifts for myself, my partner or our little one that I would have to find a place in our home for.
But I was feeling really guilty about coming across as ungrateful - gifts show you that someone cares enough about you to spend their time and money on you and I didn't want it to appear I didn't appreciate this because I know how much it hurts to be on the receiving end.
As I've only just started on my journey into living a minimalist life not too many people know that we are doing a reassessment of our belongings and trying to live this way. Knowing this I understood that I couldn't expect people to not get us gifts that I would then have to find a place for. I also know that unless you are trying to follow the same minimalist principles it can be hard to understand how stressful it is trying to find homes for gifts, especially if you don't necessarily love them.
I knew I needed to be grateful for all gifts that we were to receive for Christmas, and for my birthday 5 days later. I am thankful that living so far away from most of our family members means a lot of them just send Christmas cards with cash or gift cards - these are the gifts I really love. I throw away Christmas and Birthday cards that I don't feel an attachment too (thank you Kon Mari!) so I end up with nothing to store until we decide what to spend the cash or gift card on. This post is a great read if you are feeling similar to me about how to handle gifts as a minimalist.
This post about what to buy the minimalist in your life is very useful and I wish I had found it earlier. I wish people didn't dismiss you when you said you truly don't want anything for a gift but I do understand. I also wish it wasn't rude to ask for a gift card instead of a physical gift. I would love to tell people not to get me a gift in the first place but if they insist then to ask me what I may like or need and listen to me.
I got lucky this year and basically got consumable items (lollies, chocolates etc.) and cash. I was even happier to receive these types of gifts because I didn't have to worry about getting rid of a gift if it didn't bring me joy or fit in our home. I hope that my enthusiasm towards these gifts gets through to the gift-giver but I understand if it doesn't.
We did get some things for our little one that didn't excite us too much. I know how this sounds but I hope you will understand - if not I can't change your mind and won't waste my precious time trying to do so. I want our little one's gifts to be fun, educational and if possible, multi-functional and some gifts are just novelty items. I have to choose items very carefully knowing where I can store them. I also feel some toys are over-priced or over-hyped and he may only play with them for a matter of weeks - I then have to store it away until our next bub. To me, this is a waste of money, time and causes me stress.
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| IMAGE SOURCE |
In the future I will be asking for gift cards to my favourite stores or for e-books/movies etc. or experience gifts.
I want to make memories from things we do as a family and not by attaching memories to material items.
xx Emily
December 5, 2017
Our Birth Story - Part 3 Recovery and Our First Week
See Part One Here
and Part Two Here
Sunday 24th September - Tuesday 26th September
The day after bubs was born is still a bit blurry for me because I was still so groggy. An obstetrician visited me and I remember her telling the nurses and myself that we needed to figure out why I was so groggy because they didn't want to have me on oxygen for too long. As I was managing my pain relatively well post surgery they weaned me off of the Endone to see if that would help. It was thought that the Endone may have been too much for my body and I was 'so relaxed' my body didn't think it needed to breathe deeply enough to get enough oxygen.
By Monday the oxygen tube was removed and it was concluded they were right about the Endone being a bit too much for my body to handle. I woke up a lot more and actually remember more from Sunday afternoon onward.
We were having a lot of latching issues with breastfeeding so a lactation consultant came to visit me. She told me I'd need to use a nipple shield to feed because my nipples were too flat for bubs to latch properly - I hadn't thought I had flat nipples but when I realised how much needed to be in bubs mouth for a proper feed and latch I agreed with them 100%. I ended up seeing another lactation consultant before we were discharged who changed the size of nipple shield I was given the previous day to allow for more nipple to be drawn in. On discharge day my nipples were bleeding so bad I almost had to beg for 20ml of formula to feed baby before we could get home.
On Monday the Obstetrician advised me that although I only lost about 700ml of blood, an amount they were not concerned about, my iron and transferrin levels had dropped. I opted to receive an iron infusion because I know how long it takes my body to absorb iron from tablets and I wanted to give myself a little bit of a head start.
The day we were discharged became extremely frustrating. We were told discharge time is around 9.30am - 10.30am yet we didn't leave the hospital until 3.30pm. We were getting frustrated mainly because we felt like we were sitting around waiting for enough staff just to discharge us and if they were so busy why wouldn't they want my bed ASAP?! As soon as we got home I made bubs a formula bottle to give my nipples a rest and he gobbled it all up.
xx Emily
and Part Two Here
Sunday 24th September - Tuesday 26th September
The day after bubs was born is still a bit blurry for me because I was still so groggy. An obstetrician visited me and I remember her telling the nurses and myself that we needed to figure out why I was so groggy because they didn't want to have me on oxygen for too long. As I was managing my pain relatively well post surgery they weaned me off of the Endone to see if that would help. It was thought that the Endone may have been too much for my body and I was 'so relaxed' my body didn't think it needed to breathe deeply enough to get enough oxygen.
By Monday the oxygen tube was removed and it was concluded they were right about the Endone being a bit too much for my body to handle. I woke up a lot more and actually remember more from Sunday afternoon onward.
We were having a lot of latching issues with breastfeeding so a lactation consultant came to visit me. She told me I'd need to use a nipple shield to feed because my nipples were too flat for bubs to latch properly - I hadn't thought I had flat nipples but when I realised how much needed to be in bubs mouth for a proper feed and latch I agreed with them 100%. I ended up seeing another lactation consultant before we were discharged who changed the size of nipple shield I was given the previous day to allow for more nipple to be drawn in. On discharge day my nipples were bleeding so bad I almost had to beg for 20ml of formula to feed baby before we could get home.
On Monday the Obstetrician advised me that although I only lost about 700ml of blood, an amount they were not concerned about, my iron and transferrin levels had dropped. I opted to receive an iron infusion because I know how long it takes my body to absorb iron from tablets and I wanted to give myself a little bit of a head start.
The day we were discharged became extremely frustrating. We were told discharge time is around 9.30am - 10.30am yet we didn't leave the hospital until 3.30pm. We were getting frustrated mainly because we felt like we were sitting around waiting for enough staff just to discharge us and if they were so busy why wouldn't they want my bed ASAP?! As soon as we got home I made bubs a formula bottle to give my nipples a rest and he gobbled it all up.
Stats
Labour from breaking of waters - 39 hours
Active labour (from time of 4 contractions within 10 mins) - 9.5 hours
Bubs details
Sebastian L C
49cm long
3786g | 8lb 5oz
blue eyes, blonde hair
10 fingers & 10 toes & perfect in every way!
Once we were home I pushed myself just a little too much and had to remind myself that a cesarean section is major abdominal surgery and I really needed to rest and relax and not go food shopping the day we got home from hospital.
We had a home visit from our local Maternal Child Health Nurse the day after we got home and the two days after that was the nurses from the hospital to remove my stitch and check over Seb.
In between the two nurse visits we had to make a trip to the emergency department at the Royal Womens Hospital as I had developed a fever around 41C degrees and a few days later I was advised there was an infection in my bladder and from my cervical swab so I was on antibiotics again (also on them in hospital from c-section).
I had a third lactation consultant appointment as I still felt we were having issues with feeding but while this lovely lady was confident I was making enough milk I felt like I spent every spare minute with either Seb or a pump on my chest while in tears from pain and frustration. We decided to change to formula and from 2 weeks Seb has been fully formula fed. I was warned to express for several days, several times a day to avoid mastitis but after 2 days of not having breast fed (and not expressing because I completely forgot about it) I wasn't even leaking milk anymore. I still feel upset about this decision but I felt it was the only way we could move forward and I'm happy that I really did give it my best shot.
xx Emily
November 21, 2017
Our Birth Story - Part 2 Birth
See Part One Here
Saturday 23rd September - 39+2 weeks pregnant
7.30 - 8.00pm
Jono gets his scrubs on, packs up our stuff to be moved into our room and I get wheeled into the prep area before going into theatre for the caesarean section. I get a bit more info about what to expect but I can't really remember what they were telling me. Once I'm in the room the anaesthetist (the same one from earlier that morning, poor guy working a double shift) pumps up my epidural. When he tested how well it had taken I could still feel down to my waist so I believe he pumped in a bit more drugs.
They started painting the disinfectant over my stomach and my partner was brought in just as they starting cutting me open - they were in such a hurry to start they didn't wait for him before picking up the scalpel!
Within a few minutes I was told I'd feel some pressure and it might feel a bit odd as bubs was so far engaged they had to dig him out. Its definitely an odd feeling when they are moving things around in there, for some reason I though the Doctor had her hands under my rib cage.
8.26pm
We hear the Doctor say "Dad, come have a look at this type" as she held him up in the air. Jono came to me and said "its a boy" and I remember saying "told you so!" I then heard the Doctor say "oh, he is weeing" and I remember thinking 'is that hygienic, I'm cut open right now!'.
They start finishing up with me and Jono goes over to bubs on the table on the side of the room. The anaesthetist told me to look over and I'd see them cleaning him up and I remember the Paediatrician saying bubs was just having a little trouble but not to worry.
It was now when the Doctor discovered my bladder had become swollen and was blocking bubs way out causing his head to swell and block my bladder - they think there was no way he was coming out with my bladder swelling and in the way so I'm thankful they got me into surgery when they did.
When he was brought over to me several minutes later the first thing he did was drop his bottom lip and start crying. I was unable to hold him (other than putting my hand up as in the photo below) as I was shivering so much I had little control over my arms and hands. I remember I kept tapping the Doctor's bottom and I had to hang my hand off the table to stop.
They whisked bubs and Jono off to special care nursery to get some skin on skin time while I was closed up and taken to recovery. I believe I had so much medication in my system and that's why I passed out before I even left theatre - although I think I remember moving onto another bed but it's very patchy for me.
I do remember being told I'd only be in recovery for 20 minutes before being taken to the Maternity ward but I was there for over an hour. I also remember the nurses kept asking me why my baby was in special care and I think I told them he had some oxygen issues but I didn't know he was in special care!
10.00pm
I remember every time I opened my eyes between passing out I would look at the clock that was right across from me so I know this is roughly when I left recovery for the maternity ward. I heard the nurse say she couldn't take me to maternity ward because I was still too sedated but they couldn't keep me in recovery so off I went. I don't remember the trip there but I do remember the ward clerk asking me if I could move onto the bed myself and I just glared at him - thankfully the midwife mentioned the caesarean I had just had.
When I came to in my room on the maternity ward the nurse was fitting me with an oxygen tube and Jono was just coming in followed by bubs. I learned that they weren't in special care nursery for a medical reason but as they don't have nursery's in hospitals anymore that's where they send partners with babies after caesarean's. I then learned from my partner that our little bub needed oxygen at first and it was about 3 minutes before he took a proper breath. He also had fluid in his lungs and needed it cleared but he coughed it up just as they were putting the tube down his throat.
We had our first feed, which was a lot harder than I thought it would be, especially as I was still so groggy and kept falling asleep. I called my sister and told her the news, told her to tell no one to call me because I was not answering as I was so groggy. Jono left just before midnight and not long after the nurse put the rails up on my bed and I slept with bub, waking when he did to attempt feeding.
Part 3 to follow - recovery and our first week
xx Emily
Saturday 23rd September - 39+2 weeks pregnant
7.30 - 8.00pm
Jono gets his scrubs on, packs up our stuff to be moved into our room and I get wheeled into the prep area before going into theatre for the caesarean section. I get a bit more info about what to expect but I can't really remember what they were telling me. Once I'm in the room the anaesthetist (the same one from earlier that morning, poor guy working a double shift) pumps up my epidural. When he tested how well it had taken I could still feel down to my waist so I believe he pumped in a bit more drugs.
They started painting the disinfectant over my stomach and my partner was brought in just as they starting cutting me open - they were in such a hurry to start they didn't wait for him before picking up the scalpel!
Within a few minutes I was told I'd feel some pressure and it might feel a bit odd as bubs was so far engaged they had to dig him out. Its definitely an odd feeling when they are moving things around in there, for some reason I though the Doctor had her hands under my rib cage.
8.26pm
We hear the Doctor say "Dad, come have a look at this type" as she held him up in the air. Jono came to me and said "its a boy" and I remember saying "told you so!" I then heard the Doctor say "oh, he is weeing" and I remember thinking 'is that hygienic, I'm cut open right now!'.
They start finishing up with me and Jono goes over to bubs on the table on the side of the room. The anaesthetist told me to look over and I'd see them cleaning him up and I remember the Paediatrician saying bubs was just having a little trouble but not to worry.
It was now when the Doctor discovered my bladder had become swollen and was blocking bubs way out causing his head to swell and block my bladder - they think there was no way he was coming out with my bladder swelling and in the way so I'm thankful they got me into surgery when they did.
When he was brought over to me several minutes later the first thing he did was drop his bottom lip and start crying. I was unable to hold him (other than putting my hand up as in the photo below) as I was shivering so much I had little control over my arms and hands. I remember I kept tapping the Doctor's bottom and I had to hang my hand off the table to stop.
They whisked bubs and Jono off to special care nursery to get some skin on skin time while I was closed up and taken to recovery. I believe I had so much medication in my system and that's why I passed out before I even left theatre - although I think I remember moving onto another bed but it's very patchy for me.
I do remember being told I'd only be in recovery for 20 minutes before being taken to the Maternity ward but I was there for over an hour. I also remember the nurses kept asking me why my baby was in special care and I think I told them he had some oxygen issues but I didn't know he was in special care!
10.00pm
I remember every time I opened my eyes between passing out I would look at the clock that was right across from me so I know this is roughly when I left recovery for the maternity ward. I heard the nurse say she couldn't take me to maternity ward because I was still too sedated but they couldn't keep me in recovery so off I went. I don't remember the trip there but I do remember the ward clerk asking me if I could move onto the bed myself and I just glared at him - thankfully the midwife mentioned the caesarean I had just had.
When I came to in my room on the maternity ward the nurse was fitting me with an oxygen tube and Jono was just coming in followed by bubs. I learned that they weren't in special care nursery for a medical reason but as they don't have nursery's in hospitals anymore that's where they send partners with babies after caesarean's. I then learned from my partner that our little bub needed oxygen at first and it was about 3 minutes before he took a proper breath. He also had fluid in his lungs and needed it cleared but he coughed it up just as they were putting the tube down his throat.
We had our first feed, which was a lot harder than I thought it would be, especially as I was still so groggy and kept falling asleep. I called my sister and told her the news, told her to tell no one to call me because I was not answering as I was so groggy. Jono left just before midnight and not long after the nurse put the rails up on my bed and I slept with bub, waking when he did to attempt feeding.
Part 3 to follow - recovery and our first week
xx Emily
October 29, 2017
Our Birth Story - Part 1 Labour
Warning - this is not a short story so get comfy if you plan on sticking around.
Friday 22nd September - 39+1 weeks pregnant
5.30am
Lying in bed after just having been to the bathroom for maybe the fourth or fifth time overnight (I was 39 weeks pregnant!) I had this funny feeling like I almost needed to wee again but it wasn't in my bladder. I got up to attempt to go to the bathroom again, even though I had literally been only 10 minutes before and as soon as I stood upright I could feel myself leaking slightly. Luckily the toilet is right next to our bedroom because as soon as I stepped on those tiles there was a gush of pinkish fluid and I knew instantly it was my waters/amniotic fluid. I yelled out to my partner who, surprisingly, woke up very quickly. I told him my waters had just broken and started laughing.
Whilst still sitting on the toilet, naively waiting for my waters to 'finish leaking' I called my sister Sam to tell her whilst wishing my brother-in-law a happy birthday (and half apologising for my child possibly taking his birthday).
My partner and I then had to figure out what to do about a customer's car he had to bring home overnight from work that needed to get back to his workplace. I called the midwives at the hospital and they advised me to present to hospital at some point this morning but as I had experienced no contractions as yet it was not urgent.
My partner drove the car to his work, took care of a few things and rode his bicycle home whilst I did the dishes (!) and straightened my hair (!) and shaved my legs (!). Yes, I seriously did these things because 1) I had time to kill and didn't want to get anxious and 2) I stupidly thought I'd be able to keep myself looking good through labour (straight hair) for any photos that may have been taken. (Don't waste your time with this step unless it keeps you from getting anxious, like me).
9.30am
We finally made it to hospital to be checked over by the midwife. She needed to make sure it was definitely my waters that had broken (I imagine bladder leakage would fool so many women at full term!) and when I pulled out my whopper stopper (sanitary napkin - thanks Carl Barron for the much better name) she was VERY sure it was my waters. I was hooked up to the CGT machine to monitor baby's heart rate and my uterus for contractions. By this stage I had had about 4-5 very mild contractions - they were noticeable but not painful.
After a bit of monitoring we were given instructions to head home, try to relax and to present at 8.30am the next day for an induction if I didn't need to present earlier. On the drive home, during which we picked up some McDonalds hotcakes, I leaked through my maternity whopper stopper, underwear, leggings and 2 towels I was sitting on. I even managed to leak half way up my shirt. The midwife suggested I just lay on several towels for the day so I don't use too many whopper stoppers (I had already gone through 10 in four hours). So I laid in bed watching Futurama, dozing off here and there and recording any contractions I had throughout the day.
I had started experiencing stronger contractions from around lunch time but they fizzled out around 4pm so we went for a walk around the block and then headed to the pharmacy to buy more whopper stoppers and a thermometer. I can't remember what we had for dinner but when I went to bed about 10pm I didn't even set my alarm to get up in time to head to hospital.
11.00pm
This was the first really painful contraction and it woke me up. I had a couple contractions and started recording them (there's an app for that!) from 11.35pm. As I expected the contractions were irregular but gradually getting stronger and stronger. A note on contractions - everything I read and everyone I had spoken to had advised that contractions felt like bad period pain. I know what bad period pain feels like as I am often bed ridden at that time of them month but I didn't think then or now that they felt like period pain at all. To me it felt my uterus was getting a 'chinese burn' - like when you were a little kid and another kid would twist your arm in two different directions - and turning rock hard like concrete at the same time.
Sometimes there would be a break of 15-20 minutes between a contractions and some were as close as 3 minutes apart - most were between 5 and 9 minutes apart. Some of the contractions would last 30 seconds and some would last a minute and a half - I was getting pretty frustrated. I had several hot showers to try to cope with the pain but our hot water ran out about 2.30am. I tried to remember what I had read in Birth Skills (Juju Sundin) about active labour so I tried walking around the house and bouncing on the exercise ball. I also tried waking my partner thinking he could help distract me but he kept falling back asleep so that didn't really work for me.
Saturday 23rd September - 39+2 weeks pregnant
4.00am
I woke up my partner at this time and said I couldn't cope anymore with the pain, there wasn't enough hot water and my contractions were still no where near regular in any sense. Once we both got ready we headed to the hospital. I was extremely emotional - I was bawling my eyes out and definitely not in a pretty state.
5.00am
When we arrived at the hospital we were taken straight up to birth suite as I was due to be induced that morning anyway. I got changed and got into bed ready to be checked and have the Oxytocin given to induce labour. I was checked about 6.30am and was told I was 4cm dilated (thank goodness!) and 100% effaced - this was good news for us. I put my iPod playlist on - purposefully titled "Calm Yo Tits" and made up only of John Mayer and Ed Sheeran songs to try and keep me as relaxed as I could possibly be for what I was expecting to come. The Obstetrician also broke my fore-waters (very uncomfortable) and gave the go ahead to start the induction.
7.30am
I asked for an epidural as soon as I was able to have one - I knew I was only 4cm dilated and had read that it could slow dilation or labour but due to my contractions still being so irregular I felt like I was seriously struggling with coping because I never knew when to expect the next one or how long it would last.
The anaesthesiologist arrived around 7.30am to give me the epidural and OUCH! He had two attempts at just getting the local anaesthetic into my back and that hurt the most as I was sitting on a bed that wasn't flat and he was worried the epidural was going to be one sided if he didn't try again. I had just started to use the gas before he came in which I did find to be helpful. Looking back now I feel like I could have tried the gas a bit longer but I know at the time I couldn't possibly see how I could cope with the irregular contractions on just gas. Once the epidural took effect I could still feel the pressure of contractions and, oddly as I was told, could feel slight pain and stinging in the left side of my vagina.
The Oxytocin was started just after the epidural, catheter inserted and sometime later a peanut ball (a funny shaped exercise ball) was put between my legs when the midwives moved me onto my side. My partner and I slept here and there, ate a bit here and there and tried to occupy ourselves as much as we could. The epidural would make me shiver so much that I would wake up to my teeth chattering or body shaking.
11.00am
The first time I had 4 contractions within 10 minutes so I officially started 'active labour!' I was then told at 3pm I would get my next internal review at 3pm (every four hours) to check progress.
As the CGT doppler wasn't picking up all my contractions the midwives were constantly having to monitor my uterus manually with their hands on me. I got used to this pretty quickly and would easily doze off while they were checking me.
3.00pm
It was handover for the midwives and I had my internal review. The midwives told me I had dilated a further 1cm to 5cm but I was still having irregular contractions. Even the midwives were noticing how irregular my contractions still were as I had been having Oxytocin for several hours already. During handover they were discussing how I would have contractions on top of each other - I'd have 3-5 contractions with only 'slight softening of the uterus' in between then there might be a break of several minutes and then I might have a singular, 60 second contraction. While I was still having mostly 4 contractions within a 10 minute period (considered active labour at my hospital) there was no predictability to them.
We were set for another internal review at 7.00pm. My sister happened to be in Melbourne for the day so she popped in quickly to see how I was going. She was impressed with birth suite at the hospital compared to where she had given birth and I kept telling her to look at the machine as that would tell me when I was having a contraction. She had all 4 of her babies without epidural and only used some gas so she was pretty interested in how well the epidural was working for me.
4.00pm - 7.00pm
This window of time is a bit more of a blur - I believe I got a bit more sleep in, I remember talking to the midwives quite a bit during this period and my partner ordered some dinner delivered to the hospital. I do remember that about 6pm the Oxytocin was stopped and restarted about 6.30pm with the hope of seeing if my contractions would 'restart' and become a bit more regular.
7.00pm
Time for my next internal review. I was so dearly hoping I would have progressed to at least 7/8cm by this stage as I had been at hospital for 14 hours already, in active labour for 8 hours and it had been 38 hours since my waters had broken at home. I was 6cm. SIX CENTIMETRES. In 10 hours of induced labour, irregular contractions and intense, epidural caused shivering I had managed to dilate only 2 more centimetres. The midwives were also discussing (once again) the lack of fluid in my catheter bag even though I had was on fluids and drinking plenty. They were a bit worried but thought we'd check again at 11.00pm if nothing had happened in the meantime but were going to discuss with the Obstetrician anyway.
Just before the Obstetrician walked in around 7.15pm I suddenly felt like my abdomen was on fire. I felt like I was burning from the inside out and then the nausea hit me. I told the midwives who arranged to get me medication for the nausea and took me temperature - I had very quickly developed a fever of 39C degrees.
The Obstetrician confirmed I was only 6cm dilated but was worried about my sudden fever and slow progression given I had been on Oxytocin for 10 hours and was still having irregular contractions - the restarting of Oxytocin didn't have the desired effect. The Obstetrician and midwife also believed bubs head was swollen and they were also concerned with how little there seemed to be emptying from my bladder. The Obstetrician left the room and I started throwing up and feeling much worse. The epidural was also wearing off and I could feel my contractions again and realised how bad they were and what contractions on top of each other felt like - not great!
The Obstetrician came back only a few minutes later and advised me she felt I needed an emergency caesarean given the slow progression of labour, bubs head feeling swollen, potential bladder issues and sudden fever. There were two women in front of me at that time but we started preparing anyway. A few minutes had passed and the Obstetrician came back in and told me we were going in now as she had demanded I be seen to first given my condition. I can't explain why but I wasn't scared or worried at all, I think I just wanted to meet our little bub already and over feeling so suddenly horrendous that I was a bit relieved.
Part 2 to follow - the birth and recovery!
xx Emily
Friday 22nd September - 39+1 weeks pregnant
5.30am
Lying in bed after just having been to the bathroom for maybe the fourth or fifth time overnight (I was 39 weeks pregnant!) I had this funny feeling like I almost needed to wee again but it wasn't in my bladder. I got up to attempt to go to the bathroom again, even though I had literally been only 10 minutes before and as soon as I stood upright I could feel myself leaking slightly. Luckily the toilet is right next to our bedroom because as soon as I stepped on those tiles there was a gush of pinkish fluid and I knew instantly it was my waters/amniotic fluid. I yelled out to my partner who, surprisingly, woke up very quickly. I told him my waters had just broken and started laughing.
Whilst still sitting on the toilet, naively waiting for my waters to 'finish leaking' I called my sister Sam to tell her whilst wishing my brother-in-law a happy birthday (and half apologising for my child possibly taking his birthday).
My partner and I then had to figure out what to do about a customer's car he had to bring home overnight from work that needed to get back to his workplace. I called the midwives at the hospital and they advised me to present to hospital at some point this morning but as I had experienced no contractions as yet it was not urgent.
My partner drove the car to his work, took care of a few things and rode his bicycle home whilst I did the dishes (!) and straightened my hair (!) and shaved my legs (!). Yes, I seriously did these things because 1) I had time to kill and didn't want to get anxious and 2) I stupidly thought I'd be able to keep myself looking good through labour (straight hair) for any photos that may have been taken. (Don't waste your time with this step unless it keeps you from getting anxious, like me).
9.30am
We finally made it to hospital to be checked over by the midwife. She needed to make sure it was definitely my waters that had broken (I imagine bladder leakage would fool so many women at full term!) and when I pulled out my whopper stopper (sanitary napkin - thanks Carl Barron for the much better name) she was VERY sure it was my waters. I was hooked up to the CGT machine to monitor baby's heart rate and my uterus for contractions. By this stage I had had about 4-5 very mild contractions - they were noticeable but not painful.
After a bit of monitoring we were given instructions to head home, try to relax and to present at 8.30am the next day for an induction if I didn't need to present earlier. On the drive home, during which we picked up some McDonalds hotcakes, I leaked through my maternity whopper stopper, underwear, leggings and 2 towels I was sitting on. I even managed to leak half way up my shirt. The midwife suggested I just lay on several towels for the day so I don't use too many whopper stoppers (I had already gone through 10 in four hours). So I laid in bed watching Futurama, dozing off here and there and recording any contractions I had throughout the day.
I had started experiencing stronger contractions from around lunch time but they fizzled out around 4pm so we went for a walk around the block and then headed to the pharmacy to buy more whopper stoppers and a thermometer. I can't remember what we had for dinner but when I went to bed about 10pm I didn't even set my alarm to get up in time to head to hospital.
11.00pm
This was the first really painful contraction and it woke me up. I had a couple contractions and started recording them (there's an app for that!) from 11.35pm. As I expected the contractions were irregular but gradually getting stronger and stronger. A note on contractions - everything I read and everyone I had spoken to had advised that contractions felt like bad period pain. I know what bad period pain feels like as I am often bed ridden at that time of them month but I didn't think then or now that they felt like period pain at all. To me it felt my uterus was getting a 'chinese burn' - like when you were a little kid and another kid would twist your arm in two different directions - and turning rock hard like concrete at the same time.
Sometimes there would be a break of 15-20 minutes between a contractions and some were as close as 3 minutes apart - most were between 5 and 9 minutes apart. Some of the contractions would last 30 seconds and some would last a minute and a half - I was getting pretty frustrated. I had several hot showers to try to cope with the pain but our hot water ran out about 2.30am. I tried to remember what I had read in Birth Skills (Juju Sundin) about active labour so I tried walking around the house and bouncing on the exercise ball. I also tried waking my partner thinking he could help distract me but he kept falling back asleep so that didn't really work for me.
Saturday 23rd September - 39+2 weeks pregnant
4.00am
I woke up my partner at this time and said I couldn't cope anymore with the pain, there wasn't enough hot water and my contractions were still no where near regular in any sense. Once we both got ready we headed to the hospital. I was extremely emotional - I was bawling my eyes out and definitely not in a pretty state.
5.00am
When we arrived at the hospital we were taken straight up to birth suite as I was due to be induced that morning anyway. I got changed and got into bed ready to be checked and have the Oxytocin given to induce labour. I was checked about 6.30am and was told I was 4cm dilated (thank goodness!) and 100% effaced - this was good news for us. I put my iPod playlist on - purposefully titled "Calm Yo Tits" and made up only of John Mayer and Ed Sheeran songs to try and keep me as relaxed as I could possibly be for what I was expecting to come. The Obstetrician also broke my fore-waters (very uncomfortable) and gave the go ahead to start the induction.
7.30am
I asked for an epidural as soon as I was able to have one - I knew I was only 4cm dilated and had read that it could slow dilation or labour but due to my contractions still being so irregular I felt like I was seriously struggling with coping because I never knew when to expect the next one or how long it would last.
The anaesthesiologist arrived around 7.30am to give me the epidural and OUCH! He had two attempts at just getting the local anaesthetic into my back and that hurt the most as I was sitting on a bed that wasn't flat and he was worried the epidural was going to be one sided if he didn't try again. I had just started to use the gas before he came in which I did find to be helpful. Looking back now I feel like I could have tried the gas a bit longer but I know at the time I couldn't possibly see how I could cope with the irregular contractions on just gas. Once the epidural took effect I could still feel the pressure of contractions and, oddly as I was told, could feel slight pain and stinging in the left side of my vagina.
The Oxytocin was started just after the epidural, catheter inserted and sometime later a peanut ball (a funny shaped exercise ball) was put between my legs when the midwives moved me onto my side. My partner and I slept here and there, ate a bit here and there and tried to occupy ourselves as much as we could. The epidural would make me shiver so much that I would wake up to my teeth chattering or body shaking.
11.00am
The first time I had 4 contractions within 10 minutes so I officially started 'active labour!' I was then told at 3pm I would get my next internal review at 3pm (every four hours) to check progress.
As the CGT doppler wasn't picking up all my contractions the midwives were constantly having to monitor my uterus manually with their hands on me. I got used to this pretty quickly and would easily doze off while they were checking me.
 |
| Puffy faced and sleepy! |
3.00pm
It was handover for the midwives and I had my internal review. The midwives told me I had dilated a further 1cm to 5cm but I was still having irregular contractions. Even the midwives were noticing how irregular my contractions still were as I had been having Oxytocin for several hours already. During handover they were discussing how I would have contractions on top of each other - I'd have 3-5 contractions with only 'slight softening of the uterus' in between then there might be a break of several minutes and then I might have a singular, 60 second contraction. While I was still having mostly 4 contractions within a 10 minute period (considered active labour at my hospital) there was no predictability to them.
We were set for another internal review at 7.00pm. My sister happened to be in Melbourne for the day so she popped in quickly to see how I was going. She was impressed with birth suite at the hospital compared to where she had given birth and I kept telling her to look at the machine as that would tell me when I was having a contraction. She had all 4 of her babies without epidural and only used some gas so she was pretty interested in how well the epidural was working for me.
4.00pm - 7.00pm
This window of time is a bit more of a blur - I believe I got a bit more sleep in, I remember talking to the midwives quite a bit during this period and my partner ordered some dinner delivered to the hospital. I do remember that about 6pm the Oxytocin was stopped and restarted about 6.30pm with the hope of seeing if my contractions would 'restart' and become a bit more regular.
7.00pm
Time for my next internal review. I was so dearly hoping I would have progressed to at least 7/8cm by this stage as I had been at hospital for 14 hours already, in active labour for 8 hours and it had been 38 hours since my waters had broken at home. I was 6cm. SIX CENTIMETRES. In 10 hours of induced labour, irregular contractions and intense, epidural caused shivering I had managed to dilate only 2 more centimetres. The midwives were also discussing (once again) the lack of fluid in my catheter bag even though I had was on fluids and drinking plenty. They were a bit worried but thought we'd check again at 11.00pm if nothing had happened in the meantime but were going to discuss with the Obstetrician anyway.
Just before the Obstetrician walked in around 7.15pm I suddenly felt like my abdomen was on fire. I felt like I was burning from the inside out and then the nausea hit me. I told the midwives who arranged to get me medication for the nausea and took me temperature - I had very quickly developed a fever of 39C degrees.
The Obstetrician confirmed I was only 6cm dilated but was worried about my sudden fever and slow progression given I had been on Oxytocin for 10 hours and was still having irregular contractions - the restarting of Oxytocin didn't have the desired effect. The Obstetrician and midwife also believed bubs head was swollen and they were also concerned with how little there seemed to be emptying from my bladder. The Obstetrician left the room and I started throwing up and feeling much worse. The epidural was also wearing off and I could feel my contractions again and realised how bad they were and what contractions on top of each other felt like - not great!
The Obstetrician came back only a few minutes later and advised me she felt I needed an emergency caesarean given the slow progression of labour, bubs head feeling swollen, potential bladder issues and sudden fever. There were two women in front of me at that time but we started preparing anyway. A few minutes had passed and the Obstetrician came back in and told me we were going in now as she had demanded I be seen to first given my condition. I can't explain why but I wasn't scared or worried at all, I think I just wanted to meet our little bub already and over feeling so suddenly horrendous that I was a bit relieved.
Part 2 to follow - the birth and recovery!
xx Emily
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